Rich Curiosity

Dear My 30s, Since July 22nd, 2011 we've had quite the ride together. At that time, I was working on the cruise ship - The Pride of America. We were in Kauai and the whole Second City cast and many other friends from the ship went to the one movie theatre to see Captain America: The First Avenger which had just come out. Fun night. And now, my 30s,  we have less than two weeks left together, so I wanna say... Thank you. Thank you for all the growth. Thank you for the fun. Thank you for the hard times, the massive swings in fortune, the victories, the losses, and even the pain. It all got me here. Together we've weathered some of the worst depressive episodes and panic attacks I've ever had. We've seen me with the most savings I ever had and the most debt I've ever had. We've seen so many potential opportunities fall through the cracks all for different reasons. And many other wonderful opportunities blossom into something cool. It's been a wild roller coaste

As an adult, it is very easy for me to look at my day as a series of obligations.  Like, I wake up with a debt of time and effort I need to pay in before bed that night. Thinking about any given day this way feels heavy and not very fun. This pattern exacerbates my anxiety and depression more and more over time. So, recently (a couple of weeks before publishing this post) I started saying the phrase 'How much fun can I have today?' just after waking up...and it's really helped. =) This morning mantra is not an excuse to skip out on tasks for the day. It's not me clearing my schedule to jump into a Ferris Beuller's Day Off kind of situation. That would get very unsustainable super quickly. Rather, it's me thinking about how I can inject the most fun into my day given what all I have to do. Examples:  -When I go from my bedroom to my office, I can put on some upbeat music and dance my way over there rather than walk. -Whenever I walk by a mirror, I can stop and ma

A few hours before writing this, I made a video of me talking about my online improv classes . Essentially, I made a commercial marketing myself. That may not sound like a super big deal. People make videos all the time. However, for me, it feels like a really big deal. Not because the mechanics of shooting, editing, and posting it were all that difficult.  What I'm proud of is how I was able to turn the camera on myself and talk about something I offer (my improv teaching) as having value for others. This is not something that at all comes naturally to me. This is because I have an overinflated sense of humility that keeps me very far away from anything that even closely resembles ‘bragging.’  I have always been under the impression that humility is a keystone trait to strive for and maintain. Being humble is what I’m supposed to do, right? But I've clearly taken it way too far. The idea of marketing or promoting my work or myself has historically felt wrong. So, I stayed away

Ever hear someone compliment your work only to feel the undeniable need to deflect or minimize it? Like this... Doug: I listened to your podcast. Really great job, Sarah. Sarah: It's not as good as it's gonna be. I'll make it better. The sound quality is nowhere near where it needs to be. Doug: Well, I liked it. Sarah: That's nice of you to say. I've been in so many conversations like this. And I've been both parts. Sometimes, I'm Doug trying to give someone a compliment who refuses to take it. And other times I've been Sarah, impervious to any positive thing you attempt to toss my way. I'm grateful to report that, I am way better at accepting praise than I ever have been before. But it was a journey to get here.  In my teens and twenties, I either diminished compliments out loud or I managed to say 'thank you' but tear it to shreds inside my own head. The way I was able to break this habit was by really listening to people when I found my

I first remember hearing the term 'depressive episode' about six years ago. I identified with Depression since I was a teenager, but never thought about it as appearing in episodes. But it made a lot of sense to me. There are periods of time where I don't feel depressed as much as other times. Today I realized I'm in a depressive episode right now. This in itself is a victory, because three or four years ago I rarely if ever realized I was in a particular dip until after I was out of it. The fact that I can recognize it from within is awesome. I wish I could say I recognize them right away, but this one's lasted for at least a week and a half now that I think about it and I'm only realizing it now, so...baby steps. What is a depressive episode exactly? For me, it manifests itself in three components:  Lethargy ,  Apathy  &  Despair . Let's break those down a bit... Lethargy I can make my body do stuff like get out of bed, walk to the couch, etc. Dependin